literature

A Slight Misunderstanding

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LadyRoseShade's avatar
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Literature Text

Australia walked into the room where he saw England and America sitting talking at the table. Well, more arguing than talking, seemingly something about crockery.
"You broke my cup, and you're paying for it! That was eighteenth century fine bone china!"
"It's just a cup, get a new one. Or use those disposable ones like I do. They work just as well and you just throw them in the trash when you're done."
"Washing up reduction has nothing to do with it! It's a historical keepsake!"
"You're a historical keepsake!"
"Why you-"
"G'day fellas. Sorry to interrupt something so important, but I seem to have lost my thong."
Both nations stopped and looked at Australia, their faces blank for a second before they both burst out laughing.
"You wear thongs?" America said in between (manly) giggling and fits of laughter.
"Yeah, had it a minute ago, but now I can't find it."
"So, you actually wear thongs. You had it on a minute ago." England said breathlessly, then he burst back into raucous laughter.
"Yeah, what's so funny? It's hot out. I wear them all the time."
"Why… are you wearing… a thong?" America was still puzzled as he looked up at Australia.
"They're comfortable and easy to slip on and off!" This of course sent the other two back into fits, laughing uncontrollably.
"Look, mate, can you just tell me if you've seen it. It looks like this."
Australia reached down… to his foot and pulled off his flip-flop. "I could only find one after I took them off. See, it's just a brow-"
"Thongs…" A look of realisation crossed England's face as he realised their mistake. "Oh, God." He put his face in his hands. "Oh, right. Of course. A thong. Yes. No, we have not seen your thong."
America looked a little confused as England became serious and slightly red in the face. When America went to ask, England gave him a 'Hold it' look and turned back the Australia.
"Okay, that's all I was asking, I don't know why you were all laughing so hard. Care to tell me?"
"No – it was… inside joke. It doesn't matter."
"'Kay. Thanks, mate. See ya 'round."
With that he left the room, in search of his missing footwear.
England turned back to America. "What was all that about with the shoe? Was he wearing women's underwear or not?"
"No. See, I thing he meant 'flip-flops' or 'sandals'. I think that in Australia they call them thongs."
"So, he doesn't wear women's underwear?"
"I don't think so."
"Well, you never know, Denmark might have some sort of kink…"
"Lets not go into that."
Okay, so in Australia, thongs are a type of footwear. Everywhere else, it is a style of (mainly) women's intimate apparel.
America and England therefore misunderstood what Australia was asking for. Failure ensues.
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LittleMissRookie's avatar
I said 'thong' to an English person once, and she looked at me like I was insane until I said:
Bloody Hell mate, the kind you wear on your feet!